CONVENTION REPORT - LAWGIVER Mk II

Location: Bristol Hilton Doubletrees Hotel

Date: 25th June 2015 

Science fiction conventions have an odd reputation amongst non science fiction folk. The thing is, any hobby which involves dressing up in often expensive costumes will always encourage dickheads to draw their swords of sarcasm because in the end they just don’t get it. A friend of mine dresses up in Nazi regalia for historical re-enactments, and whilst some people say he’s sick I don’t see much difference between that and dressing up as Doctor Doom, or if you’re at Lawgiver make that Judge Cal, Judge Death or even the ultimate evil Rob Schneider.

Often these little shindigs take over a section of a hotel or warehouse for a weekend, but Lawgiver II took a step into left field by taking over part of a hotel on a bank holiday Monday, like you do. It’s a relatively small con (that’s short for ‘convention, noobs) that is, as evidenced by the name, only it it’s second year. This means that unlike the big bullies of the con world it attracts somewhere over a hundred fans, rather than several hundred or more. The good news is that this year was more successful than last year, so Lawgiver Mk III is pretty much a go.

The first thing that smacks you in the face at any con is the people in costume. Being a Judge Dredd themed con (sorry, was that not clear?) there’s quite a few people decked in judge’s uniform, many based on the excellent film released in 2012. We also got some Dark Judges, chaps that want to kill everyone in the world because they have worked out that only the living commit crime. Just think of the Tories but with cooler outfits. One of the standout costumes was the only one not actually Dredd Related, as serial perp Joanne Alexander dressed as a disturbingly sexy Marsahall Law, another baton wielding fascist, this one created by 2000AD mainstay Pat Mills. All of those in costume were happy to show off and pose for photos, with a bunch of them descending on Bristol City Centre to confuse and terrify the locals. Perhaps the most innovative costume came from Darren Smith, who came as a 2000AD cover featuring The Dead Man (a memory loss form of Dredd).

Apart from costumes, the second most important ingredient to a good con is guests. As this was a small con it didn’t exactly have a plethora of the buggers, but there was some superb talen from the world of 2000AD and comics in general. For a fee that varied from artist to artist, attendees could have a sketch of a 200AD character (or whatever they wanted, really) done by actual artists who get paid to do this shit. 2000AD legends Jock, David Roach, Patrick Goddard, Dylan Teague, John Higgins, Dave Taylor and Nick Percival were all there, as was Ryan Brown, more known for some stunning poster art than strip work. Also there was scripter Rob Williams, who talked me into buying a copy of his excellent ‘Ordinary’ trade, and already legendary Dredd scribe (amongst others) Mike Carroll. They all had various stuff for sale, and all were, in my experience, a pleasure to chat with. David Roach brought with him a pile of other people’s original art that he has collected for years, and it was a guilty pleasure ruffling through it, trying desperately to treat each loose piece with care and not leave marmite marks all over it. The highlight for me was Patrick Goddard, a man who sketches like no one else for a measly few quid and whose black and white art is being almost criminally coloured in for a forthcoming Dredd story.

The next thing that cons are known for is panels. This is when a few guests sit at the head of a room (preferably with alcohol if they’re Scottish) and chat about a pre-selected topic. Of course, all the topics were Judge Dredd related, from the architecture of his world to anything the guests would stick into Room 101 from the history (Walter the Wobot being a unanimous vote winner). When the hosts questions are exhausted the attendees get to ask whatever is on their own minds. It’s a tried and tested formula, but I found that topics would drift as the artists conversations took their own routes. This meant that they would accidentally discuss topics that were set for a later panel, but it was still all good fun. The problem with just having artists on a panel was that they would naturally answer everything from an artist’s point of view, such as Dave Taylor wanting to ditch Dredd’s Lawmaster bike purely because he can’t draw it! Perhaps the most heart breaking revelation of the day was Jock basically telling us what the sequel to Dredd would have been about if the first had made enough money, and it was frakking perfect.

An interesting part of the con was what was effectively a village fete section, where you could play daft games to win Tomobla tickets (you know the drill – ending in a one or a five for a prize). On the surface this may seem a little silly, and under the surface it was definitely a little silly, but we were all there to have fun, not scowl at everyone, and by the end of the day all the prizes had been claimed. Much silly fun had been had as people pinned the badge on the Judge, whacked a perp (instead of a rat) or fired nerf projectiles at lawbreaker cut outs. A rather ingenious way to raise funds.

In the end, Lawmaster Mk II can only be considered a success, a case of onwards and upwards as it gains a reputation and, through that, more attendees. Dressing up is totally optional, and I didn’t meet a single person who wasn’t up for a chat, and by that I mean attendees not famous bods. It’s all about the community of people that have a strange love for the Judge that is Dredd and his insane world. I loved it, and although there will ALWAYS be ways to improve something this was a very smoothly run day of lawful fun for everyone. Keep your eyes open for next years, as it will be the most fun you can have with a nightstick and double whammy.

THE NETFLIX METHOD - Is It The Way To Go?

It’s worrying that I’ve turned into the sort of old person I took the piss out of when I was a kid. I am of the time that discovered video games through the likes of the Commodore 64 and ZX Spectrum (Speccy rules!), who was amazed when my dad bought our first video recorder, and who remembers the first day that Britain went from three TV channels to four.

I’m used to waiting a week to see the next episode of whatever I’m into, and have always been happy to have it that way. This isn’t always the case, like when I only discovered ‘Breaking Bad’ some years after everyone else. I binge watched the hell out of it, catching up with the rest of the human race half way through the final series, at which point I joined them in waiting for each episode to arrive. Even though I’d watched the rest at a faster pace, the sudden slow down didn’t worry me – I actually enjoyed the suspense of the wait. 

Similarly, I have been on tenterhooks during each of the three seasons of the excellent ‘Banshee’, through the entirety of ‘Spartacus’ and am ready once more for the next season of ‘Game Of Thrones’. The thing is, the first four episodes of GOT have been leaked online, and the temptation to watch is horrible. Last year I caved when several episodes of the new season of ‘Doctor Who’ were leaked, and I eagerly devoured the black and white pre production episodes, loving the fact that in black and white it seemed like I was watching in the sixties. It didn’t spoil my enjoyment when I rewatched them on broadcast night in colour, so why am I debating the merits of Netflix releasing all thirteen episodes of their new ‘Daredevil’ series in one infodump?

At this point, I’ve watched three of those episodes, and am enjoying the series immensely. If I watch a couple a day for five more days I’ll have finished the entire series in one week instead of the usual thirteen, and that’s not accounting for U.S TVs silly breaks in transmission. Part of me likes the fact that I can choose my own pace, but a bigger part is annoyed that I will never have the discipline to watch one episode a week, as has already been demonstrated. 

It’s like Halloween sweets, where sensible parents will take the haul and allow the kids certain amounts at a time, thereby making the treats last and avoiding puking children. There’s a reason they call it ‘binge watching’ you know. We are slowly turning into gluttons who want everything NOW, and will sulk if we don’t get it. If Netflix had rationed out the series one week at a time I would not enjoy it any less, and I genuinely think the wait would make me appreciate the previous episodes more, having had more time to digest whatever had happened in them. Now, though, I can (should I want) stay up all night and watch the lot, feeling sick instead of satisfied, feeling more ‘oh, is that it’ than ‘that was brilliant, can’t wait for the next series’.

Some feel this is a sign of the future, but I have to disagree, and not because I am a grumpy old fart who thinks Channel 4 was going a bit too far. I like the fact that comics come out at intervals, rather than just dumping the story on you in one go, and I love the fact that TV does the same. It encourages kids (and adults) to appreciate a routine, to appreciate that waiting for something can help you get more out of it. Whatever your own view, please savour any anticipation you currently get from anything at all, because in the future it might not exist.

2000AD 1924 & 1925 - New Readers Start Here!

2000AD has defied the odds. In 1977 the date it was named after seemed so far away it was never imagined that the title would still be in circulation on that fateful date, let alone fifteen years after. Myself, I have read every single issue since the first, and remember throwing my free 'Space Spinner' and putting bionic stickers on my arm to be like John probe, also known as M.A.C.H 1 (don't ask).

Every so often, an anthology comic like 2000AD likes to have an issue that contains the first episodes of stories, so that a new or lapsed reader can pick it up without being thrown in at a confusing half way point. Well, theoretically. Issue (or 'prog') 1924, on sale now at all good earth newsagents is the latest jumping on issue, with five stories presenting their first episode. Also contained are introductory pages to the characters which will hopefully explain to brand new readers what the hootin' heck is going on. The only potential problem is that all the stories contain characters who have been about in the magazine for quite a while, with the most recent being 'Grey Area', which debuted three years ago.

So this is more suited to lapsed rather than new readers, but this is always going to be the case with characters that have been in and out of the mag for over thirty years, as all the other strips have. Pride of place at the beginning of each issue is fan fave Judge Dredd, with a story that harks back to a revolt on the penal colony of Titan (where the bad Judges are sent), and a mysterious ship that arrives in mega City airspace. Whilst issue 1924 sets up the story, 1925 deepens the mystery and provides more questions than answers. Although co-creator and God on earth John Wagner has taken a writing break the strip is well served by Rob Williams, with Henry Flint providing his usual gritty and effective art.

Strip 2 is 'Orlock: Agent Of East Meg 1', an occasional character who arrived back in the Seventies and refuses to be killed. In this, a quick follow up to his last solo story, Arthur Wyatt send the assassin down under for a story that screams 'retro', helped by the very old school art of Jake Lynch. Unfortunately it's not very exciting at all, and Lynch's sometimes muddy art doesn't elicit any of the thrills 2000AD is known for.

Earth Mother loving barbarian Slaine has been knocking around for donkeys years, with creator Pat Mills bouncing him through time to basically kick shit out of various magical knobheads. His latest jaunt is Book 2 of 'The Brutania Chronicles', and teh first two episodes are basically him having a scrap with a magical knobhead, both parties talking bollocks throughout. Although Simon Davies art is always welcome, reading Mills can sometimes be like wading through mental treacle, and this is one of those times, UWhilct I enjoyed his recent 'Savage' story, and many of the Slaine chronicles of the past, this is a yawn a minute and only worth a look for the exciting visuals.

Next strip 'Grey Area' (that's 'Gray Area' if you're American) has always been a treat to read, with a good mix of humour and action, set in Earth's quarantine zone for alien refugees. In a clever twist, some of earth's Grey Area personnel have been bounced through a dimensional portal and landed in a parallel alien Grey Area. It's an idea with legs, involving planet eating monstrosities and silly alien names (Resting Bitch Face, anyone?), but I hope that things will return to normal soon. Artist Mark Harrison has always been a bit of a Marmite man, but he certainly does a good job here, being both clear and creative.

Finally, it's another return for 'Strontium Dog' a mutant bounty hunter who is second only to Dredd in popularity (probably). Titular character Johnny Alpha has been battered, bruised and even killed, but this strip sees John Wagner bring in a semblance of old school storytelling, using the strip to mock North Korea in the most unsubtle way and give Alpha what looks like a traditional get the bad guys and save the hostage type of story. Veteran artist Carlos Ezquerra is possibly the most infallible doodler the magazine has ever had, and as ever he doesn't put a foot wrong with colourful visuals full of movement.

With an anthology, it's impossible to please all of the people all of the time, and 2000AD knows this. There's no doubting the talent of all the people involved, and I know that even as I am unthrilled by Orlok and Slaine, there will be plenty of others out there who devour their exploits like a Klegg who has been on hunger strike. As ever, though, it's a testimony to the enduring appetite for thrill power of the fans who have stuck with it for so many years, plus all the noobs that have joined the party after 1977. If you stopped reading a while back, even years back, do yourself a favour and pick it up again. If you've never tried it, you really do have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Official Website

'GET HARD' - Film Review

Now here's a movie title that will have you Googling in trepidation, and boy do the film makers know it. There's a scene in this buddy movie that makes full use of the schoolboy humour inherent in the two words of the title, and perhaps the best compliment is that it's actually funny instead of cringe inducing.

Will Ferrell is James, a successful stock trader who has everything - the job, the cash, the sexy girlfriend and the boss who just happens to be the girlfriend's dad. Everything is perfect until he's framed for fraud and is facing a long stint at San Quentin, deferred for 30 days by his lawyer and the need for a plot device. Cue Kevin Hart as Darnell, owner of the valeting service that James uses. As statistics prove that Darnell has been to prison (he hasn't), James pays him to prepare him for prison life, with the now inevitable hilarious consequences.

That, my friends, is basically it. James is an uptight but basically likeable doofus, whilst Darnell is a family man just trying to get some cash to get his little daughter into a school where she is less likely to be murdered. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much, but was very pleasantly surprised by a film that contains plenty of belly laughs and fish-out-of-water absurdity. The two leads play off each other beautifully, with Ferrell nailing the part and Hart showing the chops that will see his star rise higher. The script is tight, without any dull lapses, and a tight rein is kept on Ferrell, although the one time he has obviously been allowed to improvise (inventing insults for jail) is excellent.

'Get Hard' is no masterpiece, but like 'Dumb & Dumber To' before it, it aims at a certain audience and hits the target repeatedly. Ferrell haters will not have their minds changed, but his fans should lap it up, whilst those who aren't bothered should have a fun time. Definitely not for kids, this is a silly romp from which most audience members should emerge smiling, and that's all you need sometimes.


trailer:

NIGHTWISH - 'Endless Forms Most Beautiful'

My relationship with Nightwish is not the most fanboyish, as I never thought much of them when they had operatic diva Tarja on vocals. I actually found the wailing version of ‘Over the Hills & Far Away’ quite hilarious, and although I appreciated that the music was clever and passionate I just couldn’t get over the vocal style. When they ditched the diva and got in Anette Olzon I was intrigued at first, then overjoyed with the superb ‘Dark Passion Play’. Like many I didn’t go mental over ‘Imaginarium’, but still enjoyed it for what it was. 

With Olzon gone, it was a relief that Nightwish picked up the amazing Floor Jansen, a woman certainly capable of delivering all the power and passion required to tackle old and new tunes. Having proved herself live, few could doubt she would hold her own on the new album, and she certainly has. Opening track ‘Shudder Before The Beautiful’ blasts out of the speakers with speed and gusto, a song that sounds as Nightwish as it possibly could. Floor sounds excellent, although very slightly low in the mix for my taste, and the track barrels along with aggression and melody – should be a great live opener. The track is obviously designed to convey the message that Nightwish are back, and it does so most effectively.

‘Endless Forms Most Beautiful’ is a masterful work, based around the concept of evolution. It features several spoken word pieces by Richard Dawkins, and hopefully will annoy creationists everywhere. The song mix is typical of Nightwish, with fast tracks balanced by slow, haunting melodies. Standout tracks for me are the faster pieces like ‘Weak Fantasy’, ‘Yours is An Empty Hope’ the opening track and the title track, as well as the lead single ‘Elan’, which really grew on me the more I listened to it (and the louder I turned it up). ‘our Decades In the Sun’ is a beautiful power ballad, ‘My Walden’ has an uplifting, mid paced Celtic lift to it, whilst ‘Edema Ruh’ and ‘Alpenglow’ round off the bulk of the album in marvellous melodic style. 

So that’s about 47 minutes, enough for any album, really, but Nightwish aren’t your usual band. The last half an hour of the album consists of just two tracks, the rather dull ‘The Eyes Of Sharbat Gula’ and the 24 minute epic closer ‘The Greatest Show On Earth’. The former is 6 minutes of the dullest background music I’ve ever heard, is responsible for the docked half mark, and will definitely be deleted from my iPod. The latter is, well, rather epic. The running time is roughly split in half between the lengthy, and atmospheric, opening and closing pieces, which sandwich a monster of a mid section that will delight fans of the ‘Dark Passion Play’ title track. It’s not perfect, as the outro is far too long, really, but taken as a whole it’s a great piece of music. 

Anyone who had doubts after ‘Imaginarium’ and the departure of Olzon can rest easy with ‘Endless Forms Most Beautiful’. It’s a wonderful example of what orchestral power metal can do when it’s in the hands of the right people. Full of life and some very catchy music, it should put Nightwish back at the top where they belong. 

THE TIMEWARP ARCADE at Bridgwater

I am old of those odd people who has been playing video games since way back when Space Invaders first crunched it’s way into the arcades. Before that, I played the old Binatone home console, the one that theoretically had ten games but in reality was loaded with several slight variants on Pong. It didn’t matter, because when that’s all that you’ve got, all that you’ve known, it’s nine kinds of awesome. Give a kid a Binatone machine today and he’ll think you’re mental, and anyway he wouldn’t be able to find the aerial socket to plug it into.

Fast forward forty years or so, and video games have changed. Fork over your fifty quid and you’ll most likely be taken on a graphical adventure where the aim of the game is to get from the beginning of the story to the end, hopefully having some fun on the way. I’ve enjoyed playing these massive masterpieces as much as anybody, but deep down I will always fondly remember the days of limited lives and high scores, when a handful of 10p pieces would guarantee a fun hour or two whilst mum sat down for a cup of tea and a fag. 

I tell you all this because you might get a sense of how excited I was to find out that there was a retro arcade a short train ride from where I live. The Timewarp Arcade is situated in Bridgwater, a small West Country town that also boasts a disproportionate number of retro game and collectables shops on the high street. Whilst this may suggest it’s a bit of a town that time forgot, it suited my purposes to a T.

The Timewarp Arcade is only open in the evenings and weekend, but their entry policy couldn’t be more perfect. Pay a fiver (six at weekends) and once you’re in everything is on free play. If you want to spend a few hours honing your skills on Space Invaders you can do so, or you can flit like a bat from machine to machine, sampling all and mastering none. In total, there’s about 50 retro arcade machines (some on multi cabinets), plus two pool tables, and air hockey table, table football (it’s a table-y sort of place) and a solitary pinball machine (the tricky ‘Lethal Weapon 3’). 

The retro crowning glory for me was twofold. First, I saw an old ‘Star Wars’ sit in game, perhaps the game that most made me go ‘wow’ as a kid, with it’s stunningly realised wire frame graphics, film soundtrack samples and fast, difficult gameplay. It took me back to when I first saw (and heard) it in a Weston-super-Mare arcade, begging my mum for the 50p (which was steep) needed to play it. It was awesome then, and it still is. Mind you, I’m still not very good at it, but that’s not important when you’re having fun. The other machine I was overjoyed to see is Lunar Rescue, a sort of Space Invaders inspired game from 1979 (only a year after Space Invaders itself). I used to play this in the Youth Wing at school, over thirty years ago now, and was keen to see if I still had what it takes, as I was always the high score holder back then. It is one of two table top games in the arcade, where you sit down to play (and spread your legs because there’s no sodding room underneath), but as that’s how I played it way back when it seemed natural to do it again. I have to say that it’s still a brilliant game, a creative take on the Invaders genre, and I also have to say that I got the frigging high score, as I did on Galaxians, another old favourite of mine.

I can honestly say that this was one of the most fun afternoons I’ve had for a long while. I straddled the Manx TT Superbike, swore at Lethal Weapon 3 pinball, stuffed a local at table football and Air Hockey, played Space Invaders for the first time in yonks, realized that the OutRun sequel Outrunners is utter shite, laughed at fat men in their forties playing on a dance machine (I didn’t have the nerve to do it myself) and generally wished I didn’t have to work later on so I could stay til they closed. The biggest surprise was that it wasn’t busy, just a handful of people coming in and out on a Saturday afternoon. 

If you are anywhere near Bridgwater, I thoroughly recommend a visit to the Timewarp arcade, as it’s a haven for old machines (plus a few consoles set up for more modern multiplayer fun). I will certainly be returning, maybe to be brave and join the other fat men in their forties on the dance machine, or maybe to get better at Star Wars. Then again, I might just play as many games as possible and suck at them all, although there’s always the hope of getting to put your initials on that high score table… 

The Timewarp Arcade is at Watson's Lane, Bridgwater, TA6 5BE

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FM - HEROES & VILLAINS Album review

Perhaps the best example of a musical phoenix rising from the ashes, FM have gone from strength to strength since their reformation, constantly delivering great music, not only on albums but also on EPs that are longer than most people’s albums. You want value for money, then be an FM fan. As anyone who has studied the Kama Sutra knows, though, it’s not the length that counts, it’s what you do with it, and FM wield their weapon like a samurai.

‘Heroes & Villains’ has a lot to live up to, following as it does the impressive double act of ‘Rockville’ parts one and two. A move to melodic rock’s uber label, Frontiers, doesn’t seem to have changed anything except probably distribution and promotion, and what we have here is another album that’s FM to the core. Those waiting for a proper sequel to the debut ‘Indiscreet’ won’t be happy, but that’s never gonna happen. What we have here is what could be the best thing the band have done full stop.

It’s an album of a few parts, so let’s start with the upbeat melodic rock tracks. These are the tracks that are smooth as silk, radio friendly AOR anthems, much like ‘Bad Luck’ of old, or ‘Crave’ from ‘Rockville’. There’s four tracks that fit into this mould, and all are superb, including what, for me, is the best track on the album ‘Shape I’m In’. This is one of those tracks you can play over and over again, with the added bonus of a healthy dose of ‘Woah! Yeah!’ to punch the air to. ‘Best Thing’ and ‘Call On Me’ follow the same template and are full to bursting with melody, whilst ‘Life Is A Highway’ is a quintessential open top car on a California road track.

Next, we have the bluesy hard rock tracks, where the guitars get a little crunchier and the melody is a bit more ‘chuggy’, as in ‘Burning My Heart Down’ or ‘Tough Love’. Lead single and opening track ‘Digging Up The Dirt’ is a prime example, a real gut punch of a track with an infectious hook and a solid beat. We’ve also got ‘Big Brother’, a track coming out as quite a few people’s favourite, ‘Fire & Rain’, ‘Cold Hearted’ and ‘I Want You’. Mix them up with the upbeat tracks and you get a real good picture of what FM are like these days.

Finally, there’s the ballads, something FM have always been pretty good at. There’s two here, and in all honesty they’re two of the best the band have done. ‘Incredible’ splits the album in half and is an unashamed ‘I love you’ slush fest, whilst ‘Walking With Angels’ similarly closes the album. Whilst both are excellent, the sheer passion that comes across in the latter has made it perhaps my favourite ballad the band have ever done, so suck on that ‘Frozen Tart’.

In the middle of everything else is the track ‘Somedays I Only Wanna Rock & Roll’, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is a brilliant, upbeat melodic track with blues overtones that straddles the two main categories. This, people, is the track that should finally nudge ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’ from the live set. 

So yeah, I like this. Steve Overland sounds fantastic throughout, but that’s to be expected, as is the competence of the rest of the band. The production is spot on, the songs virtually faultless and even if the cover looks like one The Almighty rejected in the 90s it’ll do. ‘Heroes & Villains’ stand as one of the best, if not the best, FM albums and is sure to delight existing fans as well as win a few new ones. Bring on the tour.

'Digging Up The Dirt'