Wednesday, 24 October 2012


Okay, so this might reek of cheap cash in, yet another zombie film to follow all the other zombie films that have been shat out by zombie film makers to the point where you really don’t give a toss about zombie films any more. Well, you should, because this one is a real diamond (geezer) in the rough.

To compare this to Shaun Of The Dead would be… well, pretty fair, really. It’s another wholly British take on the genre, with the evil undead poppng up to ruin some cheeky Cockney’s bank robbery, which they are pulling to save their Granddad’s retirement home from demolition. That’s basically the plot, and as in most zombie films the rest is all about survival. 


There’s two sides to the movie. On one, you have the bank robbers, headed by the charismatic Harry Treadaway as Andy, with Rasmus hardicker as his brother and the always lovely Michelle Ryan as their cousin Katy. They’re hindered by the inclusion of Mental Mickey,  deranged hardcase with a LOT of guns, and general idiot Tuppence, played by Jack Doolan (who you right remember playing a general idiot in Cemetary Junction. )

On the other side of the coin is the boys# Granddad Ray, who is brought to snarling life by Alan Ford, known primarily for his star turn as self confessed “Orrible cunt” Brick Top in Snatch.  Here he is only slightly more sympathetic, but as usual steals every scene he is in. With him in the zombie besieged retirement home are such luminaries as Richard Briers, Dudley Sutton, Tony Selby and none other than Honour Blackman. Naturally they provide some priceless moments, such as Briers trying to escape a zombie on his walking frame, the two of them moving at about the same speed (these being the classic shuffling zombies).

As the boys fight to get to the home, and the pensioners try to stay alive, hilarity definitely ensues. Even though it’s got plenty of gore and violence, not to mention copious swearing, Cockneys V Zombies is a laugh out loud comedy piece. In terms of laughs it overtakes Shaun Of The Dead with ease, although the characters aren’t quite as strong. TV scripter James Moran (Doctor Who, Torchwood, Primeval and all that) has managed to get the whole pitch just right, with the laughs taking priority over anything too meaningful or horrible. The squeamish or easily offended will find nothing they like, but if you find the idea of a mash up of Shaun Of The Dead and Snatch an intriguing one, then this wonderful film is a must see. Oh… and it ends with a song about Zombies by Chas & Dave that will stick in your head for days.

Here's the song, and don't say I didn't warn you!

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